*yawnnnnnn* >Grumpisimo, you look like you are tired again…<.
After a long day watching grandpa smoke ribs outside in the sweltering heat, Grumpisimo decides to go take a nap. He remembers his dream of the 4-foot tall kielbasa. He still does not know if it was a nice dream or a bad nightmare. He hopes he does not have that dream again. He slowly drifts towards sleep while thinking of that thought.
His dream starts like this:
k i e l b a s a . . . In his dream, Grumpisimo stands up and walks over to the patio door, looking at the beautiful yard. Then he walks into the kitchen, wanting to eat something, but the ‘something’ he does not know.
He trots up to the fridge and peeks inside, he sees the stuff he would normally see: Mustard, ketchup, and kie-… OMG, it’s that 4-ft kielbasa again! Without even closing the fridge Grumpisimo sped out of the kitchen, on to the couch.
Paczek and Grumpush were in a fort again, but they were doing something else right now, not playing cards but making sure the K.A.B. (Kitty Army Base) was empty of unwanted visitors. As soon as Grumpisimo entered the fortress with that same face as the last Kielbasa incident, Paczek said: “No Grumpisimo, we can’t help you with the kielbasa, we on patrol duty”. “NO! BUT THE KIELBASA IS EATING EVERYTHING! THIS IS THE LAST TIME! PLEASE, I BEG YOU!”. “Fine, but then you have to leave us alone, I don’t want Admiral Ocelot Logica finding out that we are not do-” started Grumpush. “OK, THEN LET’S GO!” said Grumpisimo cutting off Grumpush.
The three felines jogged out of the fort and ran into the kitchen. “Why is the kielbasa gone? Maybe he ran away, let’s check other rooms” said Grumpush. The cats searched all the rooms in the house including the basement, the kielbasa was completely gone. “Wait! We didn’t check the outside!” realized Paczek. Paczek looked at the slider door to the patio, it was slightly open. “He went outside!” panicked Paczek, wondering what damage the kielbasa could do to the neighborhood. Then all cats sprinted outside, looking around everywhere.
They suddenly saw the kielbasa was not: 4ft, 10ft or even 15ft, IT WAS 25FT OF KIELBASA! “How are we gonna defEAT that?!” said Grumpush. Hmmm….. thought Paczek.
“You know that saying that Admiral made up: “To succeed and defeat, we need cats to complete!” asked Grumpisimo. “Yes…” saying Grumpush and Paczek not getting the suggestion. ” Let’s use that saying in our situation! We can press the emergency buttons on our smartwatches to call the Cat Army!” said Grumpisimo. “Grumpisimo! You are a genius!” said Paczek. Grumpisimo looked at his smartwatch and pressed the red button that calls all cats, saying ‘EMERGENCY ONLY’. All of a sudden the alarms in the K.A.B. lit up red and started sounding the alarm: *BEEEEP… CALLING ALL CATS… BEEEEP… CALLING ALL CATS…*.
In the K.A.B. all cats have smartwatches to call all cats to them, the cats know where to go due to an electronic chip in their smartwatch. All cats at the K.A.B. ran to the emergency door through a secret tunnel, leading to the patio. Cats filed out there into a neat circle around Grumpisimo, Paczek, and Grumpush. Then Admiral Ocelot Logica joined: “Hello, brothers what’s your emergency?”. “THERE IS A 25FT TALL KIELBASA RIGHT NEAR MOM’S (Zuzia)TRAMPOLINE!” said Grumpisimo. The other 85 cats looked behind them to see a 25ft kielbasa staring back down at them. Instantly, the cats ran and dispersed into 9 groups of 9. “You are in charge now, General Grump”. said, Admiral Logica. “Great honor” thanked Grumpisimo. Then Paczek and Grumpush joined a random group of ready to attack Army Cats. “ATTACK!” yelled Grumpisimo.
The cats on the sound of that word charged at the huge kielbasa. Biting, clawing out chunks, and eating of course. At the force and weight of all the cats pouncing on the kielbasa, the kielbasa thumped to the ground. Even Cinnamon, the neighbor’s dog joined the hot dog feast. Despite the past with dogs and cats, Cinnamon just cared about food.
After a couple of hours of fighting, the fight was gone. Only tiny bits of the kielbasa was laying on the grass, and the kitties (and 1 dog) bellies were full. The cats sat back down on the patio and saluted to Grumpisimo. “Wait what?” confused Grumpisimo said. ” Congratulations Grumpisimo, you are now officially 1 star General Grump”. said, Admiral Ocelot Logica. Then, all the cats jumbled up in a group and started cheering Grumpisimo “TO SUCCEED AND DEFEAT, WE NEED CATS TO COMPLETE!”.
*Blink* *Blink*. >GRUMPISIMO! I’ve been trying to get you awake for like 15 minutes now, but why were you screaming ‘One-star general Grump!’ in your dreams?< “No! ThIs WaS jUsT a DrEaM, jUsT LiKe LaSt TiMe!” started crying Grumpisimo.